The last book I read is also highly recommendable:
The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement by Jean M. Twenge Ph.D. and W. Keith Campbell Ph.D.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Back again II...
And once again I am back after quite a while. It is 8.30 pm, I am dead tired, but my husband isn't home yet from work and the kids are in bed, so I finally have time to write.
I am reading an interesting book: Cheap. The High Cost of Discount Culture, by Ellen Ruppel Shell and I recommend it wholeheartedly. It has interesting info about what makes us buy stuff, the history of discount stores and the consequences our discount culture has. Obviously they aren't pretty, ranging from working class unenployment, as more and more jobs are being outsourced overseas in search for lower and lower wages to deforestation, as more and more wood is needed to create cheap furniture.
I am reading an interesting book: Cheap. The High Cost of Discount Culture, by Ellen Ruppel Shell and I recommend it wholeheartedly. It has interesting info about what makes us buy stuff, the history of discount stores and the consequences our discount culture has. Obviously they aren't pretty, ranging from working class unenployment, as more and more jobs are being outsourced overseas in search for lower and lower wages to deforestation, as more and more wood is needed to create cheap furniture.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Back again...
Well, it's been a while. Again, the new baby keeps me busy, even though he is 4 motnhs old by now.
The main reason I am posting is that I managed to find more blogs of people who seem to be of the same mindset that I am. I had a very hard time recently, feeling like an outsider. I have been feeling like the odd one out in my neighborhood and really wondered what I was doing here in suburban hell.
But it feels good to find like minded folks, even if it's on the net. So I am plodding on. Just wanted to write this down for me, and in time, I will try to link to those other blogs. Some of them are fairly professional and I feel a bit unworthy, since I only post once in a blue moon :-)
The main reason I am posting is that I managed to find more blogs of people who seem to be of the same mindset that I am. I had a very hard time recently, feeling like an outsider. I have been feeling like the odd one out in my neighborhood and really wondered what I was doing here in suburban hell.
But it feels good to find like minded folks, even if it's on the net. So I am plodding on. Just wanted to write this down for me, and in time, I will try to link to those other blogs. Some of them are fairly professional and I feel a bit unworthy, since I only post once in a blue moon :-)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Playborhood III
My son has a best friend.
Unfortunately, his mother doesn't like me very much. At least I assume so, because it is so darned hard to get playdates with them.
I feel so sorry for my son, because he knows her name, and he shines up every time he hears me calling her. And he literally wilts when I must tell him that no, they can't come, or can't have us over.
It's even worse when I call her and she cuts me off and says she's busy and will call back and then she never does.
I wish they would live next door, so the boys can play without me having to deal with that ditz.
Unfortunately, his mother doesn't like me very much. At least I assume so, because it is so darned hard to get playdates with them.
I feel so sorry for my son, because he knows her name, and he shines up every time he hears me calling her. And he literally wilts when I must tell him that no, they can't come, or can't have us over.
It's even worse when I call her and she cuts me off and says she's busy and will call back and then she never does.
I wish they would live next door, so the boys can play without me having to deal with that ditz.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Playborhood II
Yeah well it is all admittedly not always easy to have an opinion...
The other day I took the kids to Rockwood Park. It was early in the morning, not too humid yet, and the park was packed.
At some point, some daycare or summer camp unleashed its kids unto the playground, and boy were they OBNOXIOUS.
They ganged up and bullied other kids. They mouthed off to the grownups who tried to control them. They used foul language. And they were pretty unpleasant in general. Slack jawed and defiant faced. The older girls already strutting their stuff to be, although I doubt there was anybody older than 10 among them.
And I thought: There ARE some advantages to not having a vibrant street life. I mean, I certainly would not want my kids to play with those kids.
But the kids in my neighborhood are good kids, so I really wouldn't mind if they hung out unsupervised.
Well, in a few years, I guess we'll see...
The other day I took the kids to Rockwood Park. It was early in the morning, not too humid yet, and the park was packed.
At some point, some daycare or summer camp unleashed its kids unto the playground, and boy were they OBNOXIOUS.
They ganged up and bullied other kids. They mouthed off to the grownups who tried to control them. They used foul language. And they were pretty unpleasant in general. Slack jawed and defiant faced. The older girls already strutting their stuff to be, although I doubt there was anybody older than 10 among them.
And I thought: There ARE some advantages to not having a vibrant street life. I mean, I certainly would not want my kids to play with those kids.
But the kids in my neighborhood are good kids, so I really wouldn't mind if they hung out unsupervised.
Well, in a few years, I guess we'll see...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Playborhood
Well, with the new baby I have not had too much time to write.
I also have not had too much time to go to playdates either, or to take the kids to the playground. (My youngest is ill, so I have a good excuse to park them in front of the TV to make her stay still on the couch.)
In times like this, it makes me sad/annoyed that the kids in my neighborhood don't roam around. They play fairly little with each other or outside in general, I have the impression.
In general, our development is good, for American standards. There are Trick or Treaters at H'ween and you do see the occasional tween or teen walking somewhere.
But my older kids are 5 and 3. Too young to roam the neighborhood? Don't know. When I spent some time in Europe, all the neighbor's kids between 3 and 6 (the preschool pack) ran around the neighborhood, only supervised by a few maternal glances out the window and whoever happened to be outside doing grown-up things.
Granted, the houses in European villages/towns are often closer together and the area we were visiting is still very much agricultural, so people have stuff to do in their courtyards, so they are outside their houses more often, repairing their tools or whatnot.
Also, since most Europeans still are less mobile than Americans, there is often more of a social net, esp in smaller towns, i.e. everybody knows everybody and so have their parents and grandparents. That leads to more trust.
I can't help wishing I was back there and have my kids run around with the others, maybe having an impromptu kiddie pool party...(And don't get me started on how free and unstructured MY childhood was, in whatever European country I happened to be!)
Here I will have to formally invite my neighbors for a playdate. They might or might not come. There will def be at least one parent and up to 2 younger or older siblings. Since it gets to be a bigger gathering, there should be refreshments, one is polite, after all.
And all that with a colicky baby who insists on breastfeeding marathons?
I think not!
I mean, I'll do it for the kids, to alleviate their boredom, but it is not exactly giving me a break. And whom do I try to kid? Unstructured play it isn't.
Since I was once again annoyed over this situation, I did a web search, trying to find out if there were more people as annoyed as I was. Turns out, that is the case.
http://playborhood.com
Read esp "Mike's Manifesto", which can be found in the "About Us" part.
They basically echo my grumblings and want to change things. I want to do that too, but don't exactly know how. I was about to mail them to suggest that they create a database with likeminded parents for cities/towns/places, but then what? While it might be nice to know more people who think like I do, it would only result in more playdates at best. I mean, what good is it to know likeminded people, if they don't happen to live in your street/neighborhood?
Although by now I would even be willing to move to find for my children what I had (and my nieces and nephews have) in Europe.
I also have not had too much time to go to playdates either, or to take the kids to the playground. (My youngest is ill, so I have a good excuse to park them in front of the TV to make her stay still on the couch.)
In times like this, it makes me sad/annoyed that the kids in my neighborhood don't roam around. They play fairly little with each other or outside in general, I have the impression.
In general, our development is good, for American standards. There are Trick or Treaters at H'ween and you do see the occasional tween or teen walking somewhere.
But my older kids are 5 and 3. Too young to roam the neighborhood? Don't know. When I spent some time in Europe, all the neighbor's kids between 3 and 6 (the preschool pack) ran around the neighborhood, only supervised by a few maternal glances out the window and whoever happened to be outside doing grown-up things.
Granted, the houses in European villages/towns are often closer together and the area we were visiting is still very much agricultural, so people have stuff to do in their courtyards, so they are outside their houses more often, repairing their tools or whatnot.
Also, since most Europeans still are less mobile than Americans, there is often more of a social net, esp in smaller towns, i.e. everybody knows everybody and so have their parents and grandparents. That leads to more trust.
I can't help wishing I was back there and have my kids run around with the others, maybe having an impromptu kiddie pool party...(And don't get me started on how free and unstructured MY childhood was, in whatever European country I happened to be!)
Here I will have to formally invite my neighbors for a playdate. They might or might not come. There will def be at least one parent and up to 2 younger or older siblings. Since it gets to be a bigger gathering, there should be refreshments, one is polite, after all.
And all that with a colicky baby who insists on breastfeeding marathons?
I think not!
I mean, I'll do it for the kids, to alleviate their boredom, but it is not exactly giving me a break. And whom do I try to kid? Unstructured play it isn't.
Since I was once again annoyed over this situation, I did a web search, trying to find out if there were more people as annoyed as I was. Turns out, that is the case.
http://playborhood.com
Read esp "Mike's Manifesto", which can be found in the "About Us" part.
They basically echo my grumblings and want to change things. I want to do that too, but don't exactly know how. I was about to mail them to suggest that they create a database with likeminded parents for cities/towns/places, but then what? While it might be nice to know more people who think like I do, it would only result in more playdates at best. I mean, what good is it to know likeminded people, if they don't happen to live in your street/neighborhood?
Although by now I would even be willing to move to find for my children what I had (and my nieces and nephews have) in Europe.
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